A recent trend in the spa industry,
couples massage in Brighton is gaining ground as
a frequently requested offering on many spa menus. Like The Spa at the
Mandarin Oriental, many spas are investing heavily in couples' suites,
creating rooms with a romantic atmosphere and honeymoon-like
surroundings in an attempt to capture a piece of the couples market.
With the emphasis on romance, are spas inadvertently creating an
atmosphere where therapeutic touch and sexual tension go hand in hand,
or is this trend simply a way to include partners who might otherwise
pass on bodywork?
"Our couples massage program is tremendously popular," says Rick Joseph,
owner and director of The Village Spa in Roslyn, N.Y. "It's the biggest
part of our business."
Specializing in
spa treatments for couples and groups, The Village Spa
is getting extensive media coverage throughout the New York area and was
even featured in a television news story in Japan. But in an industry
where personal pampering is paramount, why would clientele want to
receive massage treatments in the same room?
"The biggest reason most people sign up is for the shared experience.
They enjoy being together and trying something new," Joseph says.
"Often, both partners are new to massage. Getting a massage together in
the same room seems to give them both the courage to try it. Other
times, one partner -- usually the guy -- is shy about being in a room
alone. When he can look over and see his partner enjoying the treatment,
he is able to relax and feel comfortable."
The Couples' Massage -- Two Tables
The typical
couples massage consists of two tables, two clients, and two
therapists. Massage tables are set side by side with enough room
between for both therapists to work comfortably, so most contact between
clients is verbal or visual. Techniques may vary, but the general goal
of couples massage is relaxation. Gentle Swedish techniques are the
norm.
While it's not necessary to synchronize strokes, timing remains
important. Many therapist teams work on the same areas of the body at
the same time. They may start with clients prone, working on backs,
legs, and arms and then ask their clients to turn simultaneously. The
key to successful couples work is coordination.
"If one therapist is slow in finishing, it means the other must draw out
her massage so the massages end together," Joseph says. "This makes it
tough for the therapist that's finished. What you don't want to have to
do is start over on areas that you've already worked on. Couples massage
requires therapists to stay on their toes -- they have to be present
and aware of what's going on with their own client and aware of what the
other therapist is doing as well," he adds. Nonverbal communication is
important between therapists, and it may be helpful to agree on a
general routine before beginning.
From a therapist's viewpoint, other challenges may be encountered. "What
seemed like a good idea to the couple can quickly turn sour," says
Colorado massage therapist Ashley Greninger. "The wife wants to bring
her husband for his first massage, but when she sees him receiving
massage, perhaps from a female therapist, she may become jealous,
especially if he's enjoying his session. She's unable to relax because
she's so busy watching him. Usually after a while, she'll relax, but
I've done sessions where it's been pretty tense throughout."
Greninger feels that energy boundaries can also be a challenge in this
setting. "With four people in the room it's difficult to keep a sense of
energetic space. I think of drawing a line down the middle of the room,
which helps me stay more focused on my client."
One Table, One Therapist, Two Clients
While the two-therapist approach is the most common offering, some spas
offer massage instruction for couples. The Village Spa offers an
optional private lesson at the end of a two-table session. One therapist
leaves and the other teaches basic strokes to both partners who take
turns working on each other for an additional 30 minutes.
Other spas offer couples massage lessons as a separate session. The
emphasis here is on instruction, similar to what might be offered in a
couples massage class but in a private setting. In an hour-long session,
the therapist teaches one partner techniques while the other partner
receives, then the students trade places. Generally clients learn
Swedish techniques, but other massage approaches may be included
depending on clients' interests and needs.
In an instruction session, the therapist must come prepared with a
general plan, but she must also be able to improvise depending on the
learning style of her clients, their natural physical skill, and
awareness. When teaching massage in a private setting, it's also helpful
to educate clients about the benefits of therapeutic touch and the
importance of giving and receiving. Therapeutic touch, especially
between partners, can help to enrich their relationship and teach them
new ways of communicating beyond touch that is strictly sexual in
nature.
The Potential for Sexualization
In a field that strives to distance itself from the old "massage parlor"
image, a question begs to be asked: Are spas crossing into a shady
realm by marketing simultaneous services to romantic couples?
"No," Rick Joseph says. "We're making it safe for people to experience
therapeutic massage for the first time. When they're with their partner,
they're sharing an experience that can be very meditative and there's
no sexual tension. With two therapists and two clients, the sessions
tend to be very quiet and profound. There's very little talking because
the clients don't want to disturb their partners, and the therapists
tend to stay very focused. This is just about enjoying and sharing a
special moment."
Dawn Schmidt, director of education at The Brenneke School in Seattle,
Wash., agrees. "Sharing the space for a massage can be a positive
feeling. The two-table concept may be the best way to introduce
therapeutic touch to a reluctant client. When there are two therapists
working side by side, they can look out for each other. Four people in a
room can actually create a safer setting for clients and therapists,"
she says.
"I personally don't have any issues at all about folks being taught how
to do massage, but there might be a greater risk for sexualization in
the private instruction setting. What's important in any massage setting
is to create safety for yourself, for your client, and for the
community.
"Safety for yourself means your personal and professional safety. Safety
for the client means they are able to experience therapeutic touch in a
healthy way. Safety for the community means you are looking out for the
massage community as a whole. Anything you do affects your whole
community. I don't want sexualization to show up at my table because
someone else allowed it on theirs.
"A simple way of diffusing an uncomfortable situation is to say 'I'm
picking up on some sexual energy here, which is healthy, but in this
environment I want to provide an intimate safe experience that doesn't
involve sex. If you choose that in your home that's great, but not
here'." She adds, "If you call them on it, they're usually OK with your
request."
Practitioner Ashley Greninger maintains a private practice and works
part time in a spa. She feels the two-table approach is safe and aside
from the jealousy issue, she's never experienced any noticeable sexual
tension in her sessions. Greninger also teaches couples massage. "By
being clear about the therapeutic nature of massage in a private or
classroom setting, it's possible to keep it safe, and I've never had a
problem with sexualization with my couples work."
It seems that while the potential for sexualization in couples massage
work is possible, it's a rare occurrence. Practitioners have the
responsibility to set safe boundaries, and clients are usually willing
to respect those boundaries. So sexualization issues seem to be the same
whether in private individual sessions or couples sessions.*
The consensus among spa owner, practitioner, and massage educator is
that
couples or duo massage has become a popular offering in spas. Whether it
creates an opportunity for couples to share the intimate experience of
therapeutic touch or a chance for clients to try massage for the first
time with the support of their partner, the demand for the service is
growing.
"I think it's exciting that spas and practitioners are finding ways to
bring positive feelings and healthy touch to people who may have never
experienced [massage] before," Schmidt says. By being creative in their
offerings, practitioners and spas seem to be opening new possibilities
for sharing the gift of therapeutic touch.
