A recent trend in the spa industry, couples massage in Brighton is gaining ground as
a frequently requested offering on many spa menus. Like The Spa at the
Mandarin Oriental, many spas are investing heavily in couples' suites,
creating rooms with a romantic atmosphere and honeymoon-like
surroundings in an attempt to capture a piece of the couples market.
With the emphasis on romance, are spas inadvertently creating an
atmosphere where therapeutic touch and sexual tension go hand in hand,
or is this trend simply a way to include partners who might otherwise
pass on bodywork?
"Our couples massage program is tremendously popular," says Rick Joseph, owner and director of The Village Spa in Roslyn, N.Y. "It's the biggest part of our business."
Specializing in spa treatments for couples and groups, The Village Spa is getting extensive media coverage throughout the New York area and was even featured in a television news story in Japan. But in an industry where personal pampering is paramount, why would clientele want to receive massage treatments in the same room?
"The biggest reason most people sign up is for the shared experience. They enjoy being together and trying something new," Joseph says. "Often, both partners are new to massage. Getting a massage together in the same room seems to give them both the courage to try it. Other times, one partner -- usually the guy -- is shy about being in a room alone. When he can look over and see his partner enjoying the treatment, he is able to relax and feel comfortable."
The Couples' Massage -- Two Tables
The typical couples massage consists of two tables, two clients, and two therapists. Massage tables are set side by side with enough room between for both therapists to work comfortably, so most contact between clients is verbal or visual. Techniques may vary, but the general goal of couples massage is relaxation. Gentle Swedish techniques are the norm.
While it's not necessary to synchronize strokes, timing remains important. Many therapist teams work on the same areas of the body at the same time. They may start with clients prone, working on backs, legs, and arms and then ask their clients to turn simultaneously. The key to successful couples work is coordination.
"If one therapist is slow in finishing, it means the other must draw out her massage so the massages end together," Joseph says. "This makes it tough for the therapist that's finished. What you don't want to have to do is start over on areas that you've already worked on. Couples massage requires therapists to stay on their toes -- they have to be present and aware of what's going on with their own client and aware of what the other therapist is doing as well," he adds. Nonverbal communication is important between therapists, and it may be helpful to agree on a general routine before beginning.
From a therapist's viewpoint, other challenges may be encountered. "What seemed like a good idea to the couple can quickly turn sour," says Colorado massage therapist Ashley Greninger. "The wife wants to bring her husband for his first massage, but when she sees him receiving massage, perhaps from a female therapist, she may become jealous, especially if he's enjoying his session. She's unable to relax because she's so busy watching him. Usually after a while, she'll relax, but I've done sessions where it's been pretty tense throughout."
Greninger feels that energy boundaries can also be a challenge in this setting. "With four people in the room it's difficult to keep a sense of energetic space. I think of drawing a line down the middle of the room, which helps me stay more focused on my client."
One Table, One Therapist, Two Clients
While the two-therapist approach is the most common offering, some spas offer massage instruction for couples. The Village Spa offers an optional private lesson at the end of a two-table session. One therapist leaves and the other teaches basic strokes to both partners who take turns working on each other for an additional 30 minutes.
Other spas offer couples massage lessons as a separate session. The emphasis here is on instruction, similar to what might be offered in a couples massage class but in a private setting. In an hour-long session, the therapist teaches one partner techniques while the other partner receives, then the students trade places. Generally clients learn Swedish techniques, but other massage approaches may be included depending on clients' interests and needs.
In an instruction session, the therapist must come prepared with a general plan, but she must also be able to improvise depending on the learning style of her clients, their natural physical skill, and awareness. When teaching massage in a private setting, it's also helpful to educate clients about the benefits of therapeutic touch and the importance of giving and receiving. Therapeutic touch, especially between partners, can help to enrich their relationship and teach them new ways of communicating beyond touch that is strictly sexual in nature.
The Potential for Sexualization
In a field that strives to distance itself from the old "massage parlor" image, a question begs to be asked: Are spas crossing into a shady realm by marketing simultaneous services to romantic couples?
"No," Rick Joseph says. "We're making it safe for people to experience therapeutic massage for the first time. When they're with their partner, they're sharing an experience that can be very meditative and there's no sexual tension. With two therapists and two clients, the sessions tend to be very quiet and profound. There's very little talking because the clients don't want to disturb their partners, and the therapists tend to stay very focused. This is just about enjoying and sharing a special moment."
Dawn Schmidt, director of education at The Brenneke School in Seattle, Wash., agrees. "Sharing the space for a massage can be a positive feeling. The two-table concept may be the best way to introduce therapeutic touch to a reluctant client. When there are two therapists working side by side, they can look out for each other. Four people in a room can actually create a safer setting for clients and therapists," she says.
"I personally don't have any issues at all about folks being taught how to do massage, but there might be a greater risk for sexualization in the private instruction setting. What's important in any massage setting is to create safety for yourself, for your client, and for the community.
"Safety for yourself means your personal and professional safety. Safety for the client means they are able to experience therapeutic touch in a healthy way. Safety for the community means you are looking out for the massage community as a whole. Anything you do affects your whole community. I don't want sexualization to show up at my table because someone else allowed it on theirs.
"A simple way of diffusing an uncomfortable situation is to say 'I'm picking up on some sexual energy here, which is healthy, but in this environment I want to provide an intimate safe experience that doesn't involve sex. If you choose that in your home that's great, but not here'." She adds, "If you call them on it, they're usually OK with your request."
Practitioner Ashley Greninger maintains a private practice and works part time in a spa. She feels the two-table approach is safe and aside from the jealousy issue, she's never experienced any noticeable sexual tension in her sessions. Greninger also teaches couples massage. "By being clear about the therapeutic nature of massage in a private or classroom setting, it's possible to keep it safe, and I've never had a problem with sexualization with my couples work."
It seems that while the potential for sexualization in couples massage work is possible, it's a rare occurrence. Practitioners have the responsibility to set safe boundaries, and clients are usually willing to respect those boundaries. So sexualization issues seem to be the same whether in private individual sessions or couples sessions.*
The consensus among spa owner, practitioner, and massage educator is that couples or duo massage has become a popular offering in spas. Whether it creates an opportunity for couples to share the intimate experience of therapeutic touch or a chance for clients to try massage for the first time with the support of their partner, the demand for the service is growing.
"I think it's exciting that spas and practitioners are finding ways to bring positive feelings and healthy touch to people who may have never experienced [massage] before," Schmidt says. By being creative in their offerings, practitioners and spas seem to be opening new possibilities for sharing the gift of therapeutic touch.
"Our couples massage program is tremendously popular," says Rick Joseph, owner and director of The Village Spa in Roslyn, N.Y. "It's the biggest part of our business."
Specializing in spa treatments for couples and groups, The Village Spa is getting extensive media coverage throughout the New York area and was even featured in a television news story in Japan. But in an industry where personal pampering is paramount, why would clientele want to receive massage treatments in the same room?
"The biggest reason most people sign up is for the shared experience. They enjoy being together and trying something new," Joseph says. "Often, both partners are new to massage. Getting a massage together in the same room seems to give them both the courage to try it. Other times, one partner -- usually the guy -- is shy about being in a room alone. When he can look over and see his partner enjoying the treatment, he is able to relax and feel comfortable."
The Couples' Massage -- Two Tables
The typical couples massage consists of two tables, two clients, and two therapists. Massage tables are set side by side with enough room between for both therapists to work comfortably, so most contact between clients is verbal or visual. Techniques may vary, but the general goal of couples massage is relaxation. Gentle Swedish techniques are the norm.
While it's not necessary to synchronize strokes, timing remains important. Many therapist teams work on the same areas of the body at the same time. They may start with clients prone, working on backs, legs, and arms and then ask their clients to turn simultaneously. The key to successful couples work is coordination.
"If one therapist is slow in finishing, it means the other must draw out her massage so the massages end together," Joseph says. "This makes it tough for the therapist that's finished. What you don't want to have to do is start over on areas that you've already worked on. Couples massage requires therapists to stay on their toes -- they have to be present and aware of what's going on with their own client and aware of what the other therapist is doing as well," he adds. Nonverbal communication is important between therapists, and it may be helpful to agree on a general routine before beginning.
From a therapist's viewpoint, other challenges may be encountered. "What seemed like a good idea to the couple can quickly turn sour," says Colorado massage therapist Ashley Greninger. "The wife wants to bring her husband for his first massage, but when she sees him receiving massage, perhaps from a female therapist, she may become jealous, especially if he's enjoying his session. She's unable to relax because she's so busy watching him. Usually after a while, she'll relax, but I've done sessions where it's been pretty tense throughout."
Greninger feels that energy boundaries can also be a challenge in this setting. "With four people in the room it's difficult to keep a sense of energetic space. I think of drawing a line down the middle of the room, which helps me stay more focused on my client."
One Table, One Therapist, Two Clients
While the two-therapist approach is the most common offering, some spas offer massage instruction for couples. The Village Spa offers an optional private lesson at the end of a two-table session. One therapist leaves and the other teaches basic strokes to both partners who take turns working on each other for an additional 30 minutes.
Other spas offer couples massage lessons as a separate session. The emphasis here is on instruction, similar to what might be offered in a couples massage class but in a private setting. In an hour-long session, the therapist teaches one partner techniques while the other partner receives, then the students trade places. Generally clients learn Swedish techniques, but other massage approaches may be included depending on clients' interests and needs.
In an instruction session, the therapist must come prepared with a general plan, but she must also be able to improvise depending on the learning style of her clients, their natural physical skill, and awareness. When teaching massage in a private setting, it's also helpful to educate clients about the benefits of therapeutic touch and the importance of giving and receiving. Therapeutic touch, especially between partners, can help to enrich their relationship and teach them new ways of communicating beyond touch that is strictly sexual in nature.
The Potential for Sexualization
In a field that strives to distance itself from the old "massage parlor" image, a question begs to be asked: Are spas crossing into a shady realm by marketing simultaneous services to romantic couples?
"No," Rick Joseph says. "We're making it safe for people to experience therapeutic massage for the first time. When they're with their partner, they're sharing an experience that can be very meditative and there's no sexual tension. With two therapists and two clients, the sessions tend to be very quiet and profound. There's very little talking because the clients don't want to disturb their partners, and the therapists tend to stay very focused. This is just about enjoying and sharing a special moment."
Dawn Schmidt, director of education at The Brenneke School in Seattle, Wash., agrees. "Sharing the space for a massage can be a positive feeling. The two-table concept may be the best way to introduce therapeutic touch to a reluctant client. When there are two therapists working side by side, they can look out for each other. Four people in a room can actually create a safer setting for clients and therapists," she says.
"I personally don't have any issues at all about folks being taught how to do massage, but there might be a greater risk for sexualization in the private instruction setting. What's important in any massage setting is to create safety for yourself, for your client, and for the community.
"Safety for yourself means your personal and professional safety. Safety for the client means they are able to experience therapeutic touch in a healthy way. Safety for the community means you are looking out for the massage community as a whole. Anything you do affects your whole community. I don't want sexualization to show up at my table because someone else allowed it on theirs.
"A simple way of diffusing an uncomfortable situation is to say 'I'm picking up on some sexual energy here, which is healthy, but in this environment I want to provide an intimate safe experience that doesn't involve sex. If you choose that in your home that's great, but not here'." She adds, "If you call them on it, they're usually OK with your request."
Practitioner Ashley Greninger maintains a private practice and works part time in a spa. She feels the two-table approach is safe and aside from the jealousy issue, she's never experienced any noticeable sexual tension in her sessions. Greninger also teaches couples massage. "By being clear about the therapeutic nature of massage in a private or classroom setting, it's possible to keep it safe, and I've never had a problem with sexualization with my couples work."
It seems that while the potential for sexualization in couples massage work is possible, it's a rare occurrence. Practitioners have the responsibility to set safe boundaries, and clients are usually willing to respect those boundaries. So sexualization issues seem to be the same whether in private individual sessions or couples sessions.*
The consensus among spa owner, practitioner, and massage educator is that couples or duo massage has become a popular offering in spas. Whether it creates an opportunity for couples to share the intimate experience of therapeutic touch or a chance for clients to try massage for the first time with the support of their partner, the demand for the service is growing.
"I think it's exciting that spas and practitioners are finding ways to bring positive feelings and healthy touch to people who may have never experienced [massage] before," Schmidt says. By being creative in their offerings, practitioners and spas seem to be opening new possibilities for sharing the gift of therapeutic touch.
